Professional Wellness Counseling, PLLC.
My WordPress Blog
I was nineteen years old when I was diagnosed with FacioScapulaHumeral Muscular Dystrophy (FSHD). That was a long time ago and I’ve been living with it for many years. Living with a disability can be trying and difficult for many people. For me, I’ve been blessed and never wanted my disability to be the defining […]
I was nineteen years old when I was diagnosed with FacioScapulaHumeral Muscular Dystrophy (FSHD). That was a long time ago and I’ve been living with it for many years. Living with a disability can be trying and difficult for many people. For me, I’ve been blessed and never wanted my disability to be the defining characteristic of my life. For the most part, this has been true about me but as I get older my FSHD has asserted itself in unexpected ways. Perhaps you also have a disability as well. These are some of the many lessons from my FSHD.
We are all works in progress in many ways. However, my FSHD has taught that it and I, are a work in progress together. My disability develops and progresses. This means it looks and feels different at different stages. It means I need to realize there are going to change. Using my arms will be harder at a certain stage. Walking will be challenging at another stage. In short, adapting and accepting change is important.
If you have a physical disability like FSHD, it is going to affect your pace. It is going to take me longer to get ready to go somewhere. It is going to take longer to get dressed. I can’t be at the same pace that other people can. I knew a woman with a disability who was rushing to get to the phone and fell and got hurt. When you have a disability, you need to accept a slower pace of living and getting things done.
Yes, I know this is not a word. However, if my FSHD has taught me anything, it is I have to embrace my Me-ness. My Me-ness is the me that actually exists, not the one that exists in my mind. My Me-ness includes accepting what I actually am. Accepting me is one of the first steps in being friends with my FSHD
Everyone should try to eat and sleep well. However, it is particularly important for someone with a disability to have good wellness habits. Too much weight is not good for someone with a disability. Eating the wrong foods may also create complications. Having good sleep habits can also help to build a healthy life. I need to get enough sleep and go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time.
My FSHD doesn’t like patience. When you have a disability, patience is important. I need patience with myself and also others. Some people with disabilities depend on others. Being patient with people who care for them. Frustration is common for people with disabilities and their caregivers. Be patient.
Don’t neglect your mental and emotional health. People with disabilities and their caregivers are particularly susceptible to problems like anxiety and depression. I good therapist can help you to adust and cope.
These lessons from my FSHD have helped me in many situations. They have helped me to make adjustments as my disease has changed. They have helped me to cope with the uncertainties of having FSHD. Click here if to download the FSHD lessons infographic.
It’s almost time for thanksgiving. Are you ready for the same old thanksgiving? Maybe you’re a member of one of those families that don’t struggle, have no black sheep, and never raise their voices. Then there’s the rest of us. Wouldn’t you like this thanksgiving to be the best thanksgiving ever? Well, it can be. […]
It’s almost time for thanksgiving. Are you ready for the same old thanksgiving? Maybe you’re a member of one of those families that don’t struggle, have no black sheep, and never raise their voices. Then there’s the rest of us. Wouldn’t you like this thanksgiving to be the best thanksgiving ever? Well, it can be. Here are some suggestions on how.
In such a contentious election year, people are more divided than ever before. Talking politics is something many are not thankful for. Therefore, agreeing to steer clear of politics might be in everyone’s best interest.
For some, Thanksgiving is synonymous with overeating. This is not a good thing. Eat smaller portions. Save some for later. Don’t overdo it.
Perhaps this is the motto of a healthy person. As Americans, we’ve been trained to supersize. However, maybe in regards to Thanksgiving, less is more. Go small. Less food. Less people. More wellness. Living simply is one of the keys to wellness for some people.
Thanksgiving is a time to enjoy family. Admittedly, not everyone’s family is enjoyable. Some families are great. Others, not so much. Look for areas of common ground. Find and focus on those. Leave the rest.
Set healthy boundaries. Know when to say no. No to unwanted interactions, No to politics(yes, again). No to contentious conversations. Conversely, say yes to self-care.
A football or basketball team sometimes needs a time out to regroup. Sometimes we do too. And timeouts are not just for children. Take a time out if there is conflict and withdraw and take a break. Time outs are good if there are unwanted interactions or situations. You can use a timeout to be by yourself or do some solitary activity to redirect yourself.
For this to be the best thanksgiving ever, you have to do things in a different way. Click here for an article on developing habits of thanksgiving.
A few years ago my friend from graduate school was relating to me how her daughter, who had recently acquired a new job was struggling with anxiety. She went on to describe to me how she got a great new job bit that one of the requirements of the job was to pass a comprehensive […]
A few years ago my friend from graduate school was relating to me how her daughter, who had recently acquired a new job was struggling with anxiety. She went on to describe to me how she got a great new job bit that one of the requirements of the job was to pass a comprehensive competency test. It seems that her anxiety was a form of test/performance anxiety. I suggested that she teach her the mindful grounding exercise. I will describe it and give examples below. I’ll come back to the conclusion of this story later.
Before you begin doing the grounding exercise you may want to find a few minutes and a place to yourself to concentrate on being mindful. The first step in the mindful grounding exercise is to identify five things you can see. Some examples might be…
The second step is simply to identify four things you can feel with your sense of touch. Some examples of this are…
The third step is to identify three things you can hear. For some people, this requires being more mindful than they are used to simply being cluttered with noise. Examples of this step are…
At this stage, it can get a little dicey for some people. From here on out the exercise requires mindful concentration. Step four of the grounding exercise is to identify two things you smell. Examples of this are…
The final step to the grounding exercise is to identify one thing you can taste. Examples of this are…
Now back to my story from above. My friend taught her daughter the grounding exercise. In addition, she told her to do the exercise a few times right before she had to take the test again. She did it, and consequently, her anxiety was lower and she did great on the test. This is sometimes called the 1-2-3-4-5 exercise. And as you can see it’s not complicated at all. It’s just paying attention to your senses and that can have a dramatic impact on struggles like anxiety, stress, depression, and coping with difficult situations. This and other exercises can be found here.
Click here to download my Mindful Grounding Exercise Infographic
Practicing grounding exercises can have many benefits. Grounding exercises are a form of mindfulness practice. Research suggests grounding exercises can affect wellness and health in many areas including cognition and emotional health. And there is a myriad of different kinds of grounding exercises. So what are some of the benefits of practicing grounding? Below are […]
Practicing grounding exercises can have many benefits. Grounding exercises are a form of mindfulness practice. Research suggests grounding exercises can affect wellness and health in many areas including cognition and emotional health. And there is a myriad of different kinds of grounding exercises. So what are some of the benefits of practicing grounding? Below are several benefits of grounding
Grounding exercises focus on physical sensations. Focusing on things like what we see, hear, smell, etc. Grounding by observing one’s senses is useful because it helps to cope with unwanted thoughts and sensations. These types of exercises are often used with people who struggle with PTSD, mood disorders, stress, and in substance use treatment.
That’s when we get in our hot tub time machine(or Delorean) and travel to the past or the future. When we go to the past we think about painful things from our past and play them over and over in that youtube viewer that only exists in our mind. Or we go to the future and think about all the unknown. “Will I have enough for retirement?” or “Will I find a romantic partner?” Your brain can’t be in two places at the same time. You can’t practice grounding and also be in the past or the future.
Grounding exercises are helpful in reaching a more relaxed state. While grounding, our level of relaxation increases. Consequently, our ability to cope also increases. Research literature establishes grounding as an effective coping technique for traumatic and unwanted thoughts and emotions. Relaxation is a key solution to coping with the consequences of many mental health struggles.
In conclusion, grounding exercises are easy to learn to do. They help people who struggle with stress, depression, anxiety, and similar mental health struggles. Click here to learn a simple grounding exercise.
If you asked any of us a year ago what would life be like in 2020, it’s doubtful anyone would have guessed we’d be going through a global pandemic, replete with lockdowns and self-quarantining. At the beginning of the year, some families might have thought of being forced to stay home from work and school […]
If you asked any of us a year ago what would life be like in 2020, it’s doubtful anyone would have guessed we’d be going through a global pandemic, replete with lockdowns and self-quarantining. At the beginning of the year, some families might have thought of being forced to stay home from work and school would be a fun little vacation. But as the weeks and months have passed, we’ve all learned this has been anything but fun. Therefore, the family impact of COVID-19 has been dramatic.
But how is COVID affecting families? Well, it affects parents and kids and spouses a little differently.
Kids haven’t enjoyed the time off nearly as much as we all initially thought. Disruption to normal routines caused many teens and adolescents to feel anxiety. Add to this being away from their friends, and many young people are also feeling depressed.
Summer vacation for many this year wasn’t as fun as normal. Travel has been next to impossible for some families in certain states. Cancellations of sports events occurred. Boredom has set in for many kids, which has led to a lot of acting out and showing mood swings.
The pandemic has also negatively impacted those youths already suffering from a mental health issue. An example of this is those on the autism spectrum. For many of these kids, a disruption of routine combined with the cancellation of speech therapy sessions has stalled their progress and caused anxiety.
With some schools opening and some only offering online classes, life is still not back to normal and many kids are simply not able to deal with this crisis any longer.
Parents have, without question, been hit hard by the pandemic. With forced school closures, many parents have had to learn how to home school while also learn how to get used to the “new normal” of working from home.
As if that wasn’t enough, parents have also had to become mental health therapists, helping their children navigate through the fear, anxiety, and depression they are experiencing.
Quarantining and self-isolation have definitely impacted our familial and romantic relationships. When you are locked in a house with your family, things get chaotic and, well, everyone gets on each other’s nerves. Now forced to live on top of one another, and enduring financial hardships, worrying about health, and educating and organizing the children—just going grocery shopping can add a layer of stress.
Many couples may already have relationship issues under the surface. These couples may find the sudden and intense stress has brought these issues to the surface. This can be a turning point for many relationships. They may ask themselves “will this current crisis bring us closer or finally drive us apart?”
Without question, we are all living under an intense amount of stress. This stress is affecting us all in different ways. If you and your family aren’t able to handle the stress any longer, it’s important that you reach out and get some help from a family counselor. Most therapists are offering telehealth services, which means you can get the benefits of therapy right over the internet. IN conclusion, there are options for those struggling with the family impact of COVID-19.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help. To contact me click here.
SOURCES:
In the United States, we have a Thanksgiving holiday. It’s a government-sponsored time to give gratitude for the things and people in our lives we are thankful for. But thankfulness is a mark of a healthy inner intellectual and emotional life. People who develop habits of thankfulness tend to be more people. So, why should we […]
In the United States, we have a Thanksgiving holiday. It’s a government-sponsored time to give gratitude for the things and people in our lives we are thankful for. But thankfulness is a mark of a healthy inner intellectual and emotional life. People who develop habits of thankfulness tend to be more people. So, why should we develop habits of thanksgiving?
Developing habits of gratitude is a staple in substance use and recovery counseling programs. Participants of such programs learn to do a daily list of things they are grateful for. This and other similar habits enable them to center themselves. Centering ourselves on the things in our lives that are good is a positive habit. It’s easy to focus on the chaos in our lives. Therefore, developing habits of thanksgiving keeps us centered.
When we are thankful, we are open to new things. Thankfulness helps us to become aware of the ways that we have been blessed. As we develop a sense of gratitude for our lives we are more open about future possibilities. Because of this, thankfulness opens new doors in our lives. This openness can lead to new relationships and opportunities for growth.
There are a variety of positive effects that thankfulness can have on our health. One of these is the benefits a habit of gratitude has on physical health. Research suggests more emotionally balanced people are thankful. This balance leads to a more healthy physical life. According to Psychotherapist Amy Morin people who are thankful are more proactive about their health. As a result, they take steps toward being more physically healthy.
Developing habits of daily gratitude can lead to greater inner discipline. Also, it leads to increased emotional and physical health. Above all, we stay centered and live in the moment. When we develop habits of thankfulness.
